We were so poor “”fast food”” meant that we couldn?t catch it on foot.
When my daddy heard that the Baptist Church served fried chicken after services on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, we became staunch Southern Baptists. He liked to say we were led to the Lord by Colonel Sanders.
I could go on, but you get the picture. We were not rich people. We were also a vagabond family, moving nine or ten times before my 10th birthday.
Basically when the rent came due, my old man would come home and announce that it was time to move – usually that very night.
I never realized until many years later that you could actually rent a U-haul railer before the sun went down. To me moving was always a nocturnal affair. My father was a likable enough fellow who rarely held down a steady job. Of course that wasn?t his fault, at least to hear him tell it. He was just about the most persecuted employee on the planet because every boss he ever had seemed to single him out for firing.
Naturally it had nothing to do with his attendance (or lack thereof) or his performance or the fact that he?d rather be drinking beer in a fishing boat than doing the work he had been hired to do.
His average time on the job, from hiring to firing, was two weeks, three at the most if a long weekend was involved.He changed jobs as often as other men
change socks. It has always been my opinion that he didn?t want to work because it interfered with his drinking, which was his true talent and calling.
The old man?s idea of Heaven involved sitting in a fishing boat with an icy cooler containing an endless supply of Budweiser and a coffee can containing an endless supply of big, fat worms.
He’d say, “”Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit in the boat and drink beer with you all day long.””
Heck – now-a-days, people don’t even want to fish. They want the fish already caught, fileted, seasoned, cooked up for them, and served on a plate with 2 different types of vegetables, right?
Well, I’m going to do the same for you right now.
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Here’s your ‘fish’, my friend — served up just how you like it:
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